


Solar

by didyousaygay



Series: My Personal Solar System [12]
Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25645408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didyousaygay/pseuds/didyousaygay
Summary: It never occurred to them that they can be each other's sun.Until they did.
Relationships: Stellvester "Stell" Ajero/John Paulo Nase | Sejun
Series: My Personal Solar System [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774648
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Solar

When sensible people say that romantic movies are the cause of people's maligned views towards love, they were absolutely right. You can say that he is quite realistic and that perspective has lead him to be cautious with matters of the heart. He spent years of self reprimand to prove that point but he still lost to the inevitable. That is why when he at last professed his true feelings, he is clearly aware that it doesn't come with dramatic soundtracks and cheesy montage. The most he expected was for Stell to cry or scream at him in frustration for his long time stubbornness. But irony was, just like an unexpected twist in a movie plot instead of the premeditated scenarios that he imagined, he was manhandled, embraced until he's gasping for air. Finally, he was tackled and they both fell off the bed with an aggressive thud. He lands on the floor with Stell on top of him, the persisting ache on his back when he fell is proof that he was indeed living the moment.

"Pau, mahal ko, sorry na, pero dahil alam kong mahal mo ko, di ka magagalit, pero sorry na talaga.."

They're now back in bed as Stell peppers him with kisses while apologizing profusely. 

"Hindi nga ako galit, pero itigil mo na yan Ajero."

"Bakit hindi? Ang tagal kong hinintay tong moment na'to tapos bawal. Masakit pa rin ba yung likod mo mahal ko? Patingin na kasi!"

The pain is not that bad anyways, he'll come out from it with a mild bruising but Stell exploiting his new found power over him is not good for his heart. His _*cough*_ future in laws are just across the hall for crying out loud. 

"Tey, I swear to God, pag di mo tinigilan yang kaka mahal mahal mo, iiwanan kita mag-isa dito!"

"Bakit gustong gusto mo kong iniiwang mag-isa, mahal kong John Paulo? Ipapakita mo ba sa kin yang likod mo o tatawagin ko pa yung nanay ko dito?"

"Bakit ka nanakot ng ganyan?" 

"Mahal, ipakita mo na sa kin yang likod mo please."

"Pwede bang tigilan mo na yan Stellvester Ajero."

"Ayaw mo ng mahal lang? Eh mahal ko? Let me see, please na oh."

"Ipapakita na, so stop calling me mahal okay?"

"Bakit ayaw mo, eh mahal kita?"

"Ang hilig mo magbigay ng pet names kung kani-kanino, wag mo nga ako idamay."

"Bakit, nagseselos ka?"

He doesn't reply, he won't fall for that. He sits up facing away from him and lifts his shirt. He doesn't want Stell to see him because now that his feelings are out in the open, every emotion he held back before has been released like an uncontrollable floodgate. He looks away from him hoping that his expression does not betray him despite knowing his actions are futile.

"Ayan na Ajero, pagkatapos wag ka na makulit ha."

It was a clear miscalculation on his part because the moment Stell touched his back, the warmth of his hands sent all the blood to his head and he's suddenly flushed and lightheaded, to make matters worse, the sultry breathing close to his skin is not helping him with his crisis. He's torn between the intensity of his desire and the creeping anxiety of what awaits their new relationship. Who would've thought that a simple term of endearment could trigger something that is not supposed to be a big deal but here they are, way past normal sleeping hours, talking about back pain and jealousy. He doesn't recognize the petty person that he has become. This is not the first and definitely won't be the last. Few minutes in their relationship and he already know it's off to a rough start.

When Stell is done and contented, assured that he is injury free, he feels a wet kiss on his nape as Stell hugs him from behind. "Medyo namumula Pau, lagyan na lang natin ng ice packs ha, kukuha lang ako saglit sa baba."

He kisses Stell on the cheek and gives him a comforting smile. "Wag na, hindi naman masakit, wala na yan bukas."

"Mahal na mahal kita Pau. Ikaw lang." 

"Alam ko. It's scary but I know." 

"Kaya natin to."

"Yeah."

"Pau.."

"I'm here."

  
Whoever said there is a honeymoon phase to every relationship clearly has not considered a couple like them. It is easy to say that their personal lives are their own and that they are also human beings like every one else. But a screaming contradiction is that their career dictates the life that they live. How to be in a proper relationship when you belong in the same group that is bound by legal and moral obligations? He misses the comforting atmosphere back in Stell's bed room. 

They agreed not to tell anyone, even among their group. As much as they want to share their happiness with their friends, it's a burden that they have to bear. Letting people know about them demands a responsibility to keep the secret safe and they will not allow Josh, Justin and Ken to become accomplices for them. They are a group but this relationship is something that exclusively belongs to them and they will pay for the repercussions if it comes to that. They don't have to drag anyone else. 

They are still finding the right balance when it comes to their interactions in public and in front of the camera. This is something new for both of them and they know rushing things could lead to something irreversible and for that, they need time. 

It was a free afternoon for them, a day before they start their nationwide tour and they're lounging at the living room couch just listening to random playlists, sitting beside each other. They can't hide in their room all the time and they agreed that this is the most inconspicuous activity that they can do without attracting unwanted attention. Every once in a while Stell will hold his hand, squeeze it tight and then let go. It will be followed by Stell snuggling close to his neck and giving him feather light kisses. He'll then resume to playing with his phone until the action becomes some kind of round robin routine. He does not even look up from his book, they can spend hours in comfortable silence. He's about to flip the next page but then Stell refuses to let his hand go. He finally looks at him and their eyes meet.

>   
> I get so weak in the knees, I can hardly speak  
> I lose all control and something takes over me

A single glance. That's all it took, next thing he knows, the book drops on the floor and he's leaning closer to Stell until he feels his soft lips against his own. 

>   
> In a daze and it's so amazing, it's not a phase  
> I want you to stay with me, by my side  
> I swallow my pride

It was not his intention to deepen the kiss, their friends could come out of their rooms any moment but Stell pulls him, his warm hands on his neck, using his tongue to part his lips and he allows him in. Their tongues collide, sloppy and hot. The wanton beast that they tried to confine was set free and their hands are all over each other as their tongues explore every crevice, every spot until they're gasping for breath but they still refuse to release each other for air. Stell gently bites his lower lip and he licks his upper lip in return. He roughly grabs his shirt to pull him closer and they collapse on the couch with Stell on top of him. They kiss again, open mouthed while his hands slowly roam underneath his shirt, the toned muscles reacting to his touch. Their kiss turns into labored breaths as they bring their bodies closer with urgency and desperation.

>   
> your love is so sweet  
> It knocks me right off of my feet  
> Can't explain why your loving makes me----

  
The sound of an opening door breaks them apart. In the first place, considering logic and appropriateness, they're not supposed to make out in the living room. Whoever said loves makes you weak is an understatement. Loving someone makes you reckless, selfish and absurd at times. He never knew that this is what will become of him when he fell. They quickly fix each other, straightening their shirts and messed up hair. Stell side glances with a smirk as he passes the book back to him and he kicks him lightly in the shin.

  
Josh comes out from the room, backpack slung on his shoulder, he's wearing a black mask and his hair is concealed by a baseball cap as he walks to the main door not even glancing at them. "Mga dre, may bibilhin lang ako sa mall ha. Babalik ako agad."

"Mag-isa ka lang talaga, gusto mo samahan ka namin?" 

"Hindi na Stell, mas halata pa pag kasama ko kayong dalawa."

"Huy Josh mag-ingat ka ha."

"Oo naman, ninja moves, di ba Sejun?"

He shrugs the comment off as a nonsensical wisecrack and replies. "Basta mag-ingat ka."

"Syempre mag-iingat, magaling tayong magtago, di ba?"

Josh winks and closes the door behind them.

They look at each other and makes a silent pact not to make out in the living room couch again. 

  
They have an afternoon live broadcast before leaving for the first leg of their tour and for the last few weeks, they've been trying to keep a safe distance but not to the point that people might think that they are avoiding each other. He sits at the far corner beside Justin while Stell is in the middle, Ken beside him and Josh on the other end. Just when they thought they were doing well with their 'stealth mission', one of their female producers asks them to re-arrange their seating positions.

"Justin, palit kayo ni Sejun para tabi sila ni Stell."

If it sounded like an annoyed response, it was not his intent but it was a request that he was not prepared for. "Huh? Bakit po?!" He regrets it when Josh gives him the wide eyed, scolding look.

Stell saves him right away. "Halika na dito John Paulo, tatabi lang ang daming reklamo."

The producer just laughs it off, knowing that playful banter is normal for them. "May mga comments na hindi na daw kayo nagtatabi sa live. Miss na daw nila ang Stelljun kaya pagbigyan nyo na. Konting fan service lang Sejunie."

Justin also laughs and puts an arm around his shoulder with a gummy smile. "Mag-online ka rin kasi minsan Sejun para makita mo yung comments ng fans." 

"Hala, may ganon talaga." Despite his momentary slip off, he can't help but hold on to the wishful thinking that a small corner of the big wide world is willing to accept them for who they are. He looks at Stell beside him and he's surprised that he is not smiling at all. He knows that look when he sees it and all he can do is call his name softly. "Stell, huy.." 

  
"Oo nga naman Sejunie. Pagbigyan mo na." 

Stell replies to him with a low voice. A remark purposely intended only for him to hear. If he was confident on how much he knows Stell inside out after all the years they've been together, this Stell beside him now is something new and it made him scared and excited at the same time and he doesn't know what to do with this information yet. He holds Stell's knee with a firm grasp, hoping that it's enough to pacify him until the one hour broadcast is over. "Tey, later.."

If the staff felt the tension between them, he wouldn't know. He was drawn in by those eyes again until Josh saves the day by calling out. "Okay na? Start na tayo!"

Stell looks at the staff with a tight lipped smile. If he's back to his usual self or he's just playing coy for the camera, it's a discussion between them later. If his hands constantly finds its way on Stell's knee or shoulder and Stell looks at him with fiery intensity, you can't blame him if he consciously touches him again. When Stell retaliates and rests his head on his shoulder while laughing about something, he curses the time for being too slow. By the last ten second mark of the broadcast, Stell is finally smiling genuinely at the camera, if the reason for it is because he's shamelessly holding his hand while giving off his closing spiel as the leader, he'll hold on to that ten seconds as if it's his last moments on earth.

Yes, movies don't tell you how to be hopelessly in love and how to deal with the heedless passion. He's currently living it.

When the broadcast finally ended, it's down to an hour for them to pack their stuff before leaving and they are now back in their own world, inside the room that has been a tranquil witness to their secrets. It's not as if they have gone all the way, he still blushes at the mere thought of it. But the sadness that comes with it has been a cumbersome pair that always goes hand in hand. Their love has always been contained in the four corners of this room, despite the immense amount of emotions that they feel, it will always be restrained within the silent walls, thrashing to be released until it is free. Free from judgement. Free from obligations. 

A love that is free. 

But for now, their love needs to wait patiently.

"John Paulo! Tao po!" His train of thoughts were cut off with a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Tey.." Stell's smiling face gives him unending hope that they will be okay. "tapos ka na magpack?"

"Syempre, hindi kasi ako nagde-day dreaming katulad ng honey ko." 

Stell kisses his cheek and wraps him in a hug. The weariness that they feel slowly wanes as they share a warm embrace, slowly swinging to the beat of a non existing slow song. 

"Ayoko nyan! Honey yung para sa pancake ni Ken, don't call me honey!"

"Babe.."

He tries to squirm out of his hold but Stell refuses to let him go.

"Okay, okay, bawal na ulit banggitin ang babe." Stell kisses his cheek and he relaxes in his arms. They return to slow dancing, living the moment until it lasts.

> It's been a long time coming  
> Such a long, long time  
> And I can't stop running

  
"Pwede bang i-give up mo na yan Tey?"

"Ayoko nga! Langga?"

"Wag mo na nga ipaalala sa kin yan!"

"Proud na proud ka kaya dun! Ayaw mo nun?"

> And then I looked up at the sun and I could see  
> Oh, the way that gravity pulls on you and me

"Bakit ba kasi ang kulit mo.."

"Bakit ba kasi ayaw mo.."

> And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun  
> And the way that gravity pushes on everyone  
> On everyone

"Tey.."

"Pau.."

"We'll be okay.."

"Oo naman.. Kaya natin to."

"Tey.."

"Yes, Pau?"

"Please stay with me hanggang kaya mo.."

"Mahal na mahal kita Pau.."

"I know.."

"Pau.."

"I love you, I'm here.."

**Author's Note:**

> For their slow dance, please listen to Coldplay's Gravity. 
> 
> It's not a perfect song but it has all the right emotions. 
> 
> Will appreciate if you do.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
